the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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