doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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