in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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