you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize