No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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