only if we run a train.
done.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
