i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you never un-have a 4some
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize