Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
