windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
