Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize