oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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