You really coming over, don't trick.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
