her vagine was all disorganized.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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