I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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