mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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