So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
