Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
