but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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