we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
