Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize