i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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