Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
