Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
