That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
