dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
