Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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