i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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