wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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