make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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