It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
