Dual....:-)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
