like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
