my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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