this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
