like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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