omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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