It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
