Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
