Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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