my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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