I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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