The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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