Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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