I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i think im in europe. pls send help
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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