He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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