Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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