So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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