I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
