Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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