i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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