Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
