Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
now i know why i became what i already was.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
