I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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