I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog